With all the strength we could Garner...

With a squad decimated by injury, swine fever and players putting rock
music before Notvery, only six players headed up to Bishop(s) Burton for what
was a must win game. Fortunately for us every single one of them was a
hero.

The pre-match warm up didn't suggest things were going to be any
different to normal with passes going astray and shots flying wide of the
goal. However, as soon as the kick of whistle blew things were different.

In the first half some excellent kicks from the keeper were putting
pressure on the Black Socks, backed up by some good link-up play from the
forwards. Defensively we looked perfectly safe and the few shots that were
heading anywhere near our goal were more than comfortably dealt with by
Paul, who proved to be immense between the sticks. Our new player was
proving himself to be well worth his 'pint in the pub afterwards' signing
fee, flicking on many of Paul's long straight kicks and Chris H managed 2
or 3 shots on goal, testing the opponents keeper. Colin and Chris G dealt
with everything at the back and our captain put in the miles linking up
the attack with the defense and making his presence felt at both ends of
the field.

The second half began in a similar vein, however half way through an
excellent ball forward was controlled perfectly by Dave who passed it to
Chris H, I made a run through the centre and Chris slotted a perfectly
weighted pass through the tiniest gap in their defense putting me through
on goal, unfortunately I delayed my shot for too long and a Black socks
defender was able to get close enough to put me off my shot giving us
just a corner from what was a perfectly worked move.

As fatigue began to set in from having no substitutes, I swapped places
with Colin, putting me in defense and allowing Colin to make his famous
charges down the wing. He straight away proved to be a problem for the
opposition finding space and collecting Dave's flick ons. However the
fatigue of a constant end to end match was showing on our forwards and
midfield line, with nobody getting back, leaving our defense open to
several overlaps and often being outnumbered by the opposition, however
we stood firm, often putting our bodies on the line, and kept their
scoring opportunities to a minimum.

Whilst defending a corner Chris H took a slight knock and slotted into
the defense allowing me to go up field for the final couple of minutes,
another well worked move left Dave on the edge of the box, but his
attempt to shoot was cut off by a foul giving us a free kick on the edge
of the area with the opposition wall about 3 foot away from the ball.
Colin stepped up to take the kick, but his options were limited as Dave
and I were well marked. However, having been told by Chris H that he was
going to stay back Chris Garner stealthed up the field, with a nonchalance only he could manage, into scoring range of the goal. Colin slotted across a perfect pass and Chris, with all the composure you could ever muster cooly side footed the ball under the keeper. I'm not entirely sure what happened next, some people may suggest we over celebrated the goal but that celebration had been waiting 7 weeks and we weren't going to cut it short.

After the restart, an opposition restart not at kick off or half time which is an unusual occurance for us, the Black socks piled forwards, but our determination shone through, perfectly illustrated by Chris H's fighting headed clearance. Finally the whistle blew and we had our victory, fully earn't and fully deserved. I can name next weeks starting line up straight away, exactly the same as this week. Those returning to the side are going to have a fight to get back on the field, I suggest some training attendance is required.

As we dragged our tired and battered bodies off towards the pub for our weekly debriefing we were all thinking the same thought; Notvery were off the bottom. Losing that game could have been the final nail in our coffin, fortunately Chris G sneaked in and stole the undertaker's hammer.


he doesn't look like he cares,
but he'll catch you unawares,
Chris G,
Chris G...



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"Kids sir. Thousands of them..."

A turn out of 8 for our first training session of 2009 wasn't completely disasterous although we did all manage to wear different colours as is always the way. More importantly Dave, Notvery Athletics' possible new signing and saviour, didn't seem too disappointed with the skill level of his proposed new team and may well be showing for Notvery on wednesday. A big thankyou to Paul, Chris's chum who also showed up and will hopefully will be making regular appearances, 'good feet for a big man' seems an appropriate turn of phrase.
Most disappointing for us all was an injury to Tom Walker, who up until that point was looking sharp, hopefully he won't be out for too long.

Goals were scored at both ends, with most players getting a good touch off the ball, and things were reasonably even. Possibly the most decisive goal was caused when some strange yokels yelling my name from 100 yards away proved to be too much of a distraction and I neglected my defensive duties. As far as I am aware these hooligans are yet to be named, I have let Kirsty Young know of these events and await the next episode of crimewatch with anticipation.

Around an hour into the session 6 youngsters offered us a game, thinking we could beat them easily we accepted and the game began. At first we were coasting it with skills and goals a plenty, however things gradually became more and more difficult and a quick count up of the players on their team showed there to be around 14 of them. When you thought you had scored passed the keeper another youngster would spring up from nowhere, or arrive on his bike, to catch it and punt it forward setting up another 10 man assault. Fortunately they weren't very good, and spent a lot of time tacking each other, so we were able to skip through a few and feel like Ricardo Gardner.

It should be mentioned that, apart from the occasional hacking tackle or suggestion that Colin should be at home with his slippers on, the kids were perfectly fine and didnt steal, break, pillage or do any of the other things usually associated with 'the youth of today'.

Overall it was a great session, apart from Tom's injury, much fun was had by all and it was nice for the members of Notvery to get a chance to shoot at goal now and again. A few more sessions like this and it won't be the Barcelona team the ITV pundits will be drooling over,
Will

Training Next week:

Please let me know as soon as possible if your training next week so I can get an idea of numbers. With Adam, Paul and Tom M set to return we could heading for double figures.

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And our survey says...

People in for tonight so far:
Alex
Chris H
Will (feet blistered to bits but still going because he's a hero)
Chris G (a little late)
Colin
John
Tom W
Ringer x 1
younguns x 43,235

People definitely not in:
Paul (er?)
Hannah S (injured)
Adam T (show in london)
Tom M (no transport)
Mike H (in the naaaaaaaaaavyyyyyyy)
Andy Coupe (family man)
Gianfranco Zola (not up to the required standard)
Karl
Neil
Ian




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Shame time - it's the table

On the plus side, we seem to have a goal difference of 20, not bad for a team with our record.

Results:

Weighton 0 v 0 Shangi
Deportivo 0 v 2 Mill Lane
Reservoir Trogs 0 v 6 Waterside Utd
Deportivo 1 v 0 Black Sox
Mill Lane 4 v 0 Not Very Athletic
BarceHullona P v P Angel





Fixtures - Wed 29 April
Weighton v Angel
Shangi v Deportivo
Beaver v Reservoir Trogs
Mill Lane v Waterside Utd
Barcehullona v AJ's
Not Very Athletic v Black Sox

Current status of mondays training session (looking promising if y'all remember your kit):

Definite:
Will C
John C
Tom W
Chris G (May be slightly late)
Alex H
Adam T (unavailable first week)
Colin H
Hannah S
Chris H
Tom M (unavailable first week)
Neil T

Probably:
Paul B

Possibly:
Luke H
Karl T
Ian R
Hannah F
Alan W
J.K.


Cannay do it cap'n:
Mike H (in the naaaaaaaaaavyyyyyyy)
Andy Coupe (family man)
Gianfranco Zola (not up to the required standard)


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Local celebrity reads blog!

Firstly the good news:
Jay, the guy that organises our wednesday night entertainment, reads this blog. So lets all give him a big wave!



Secondly the bad news:
We got beat, again. 4 - 0 to be exact and here's why.
Our resident goalkeeper, I can't remember his name as it's been so long, again failed to show leaving us vulnerable betweeen the sticks. Mike stood up to the plate offering his golakeeping services for the first half, Paul and I started on the bench with Chris H up front Colin right wing, Alex left wing and Tom and Chris G keeping them out at the back. As usual all started off well with a clean sheet and little work to do for the keeper for the first few minutes. However a mistake from a corner gave them a striking opportunity which was perfectly slammed into the back of the net giving the keeper no chance.
Some good distribution upfield from our keeper was causing the opposition a few problems but we were our usual toothless selves once we entered the final third and scoring opportunities were minimal.
The first substitution gave us a little more attacking threat but yielded nothing in terms of opportunities and a second goal, which the keeper claimed to have been 'unsavable' but actually went between his legs, really caused our heads to drop.

We did manage a couple of strikes on goal at the start of the second half, with me hitting the crossbar and Chris H delivering a sweetly struck shot which, unfortunately, was directly at the keeper.

Tom took the goalie gloves for the start of the second half, although we are not entirely sure why as he didn't seem aware that keepers were allowed to use their hands and his riverdance style keeping led to the oppositions third goal.

By now we were all over the shop, getting very little of the ball and doing a lot of chasing and it was fatigue that led to some poor marking and the oppositions fourth goal.

Although we are used to getting beaten the style of the defeat this week was most upsetting, it was a definite backward step after what has been continual improvement up until this point. This disappointment led to an extended tactics meeting in the pub afterwards from the senior players and it was decided that we needed a bit more aggression on the pitch and a better turn out to the pub off of it. When Tom Walker enters the fray he may well provide both these things, so there is still hope for notvery.

Next week we may be throwing caution to the wind and going for a 1 2 2 formation, hey we're getting drubbed each week anyhow, may as well go for some goals. yes Tom M, that 1 is you, you're going to be a busy fella.


Finally:



A big farewell and thankyou to Mike for his continued enthusiasm for Notvery and good luck to him with his Navy training. Hey Douglas Bader didn't have any legs and he did ok!

In the Naaaavvvyyyyy, you can sail the seven seas. In the Naaaavvvyyyyy...


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Managers big pre-match speech.

I have been thinking and I reckon what we have been lacking is a big speech before we kick off to spur us to victory. However I'm not the talking in front of people type, so I've written one for you all to digest and read through in your head just before we kick off! Should do the trick:

"Make haste to arena flat and green,
to make recompence for achievement far overdue,
the foot of the table weeps at our immovable presence,
and the top crys at our absence.

the target of our toil is not so heavily guarded,
yet the net of our salvation remains our goal and our tyranny?
do not fear it, embrace it and fire,
cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war"



P.S. boozin' tonight (see below) who's in?

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Mike's final appearance

As tomorrow is likely to be our (current) top scorers' last appearance until The Navy wise up and either don't let him in or kick him out, i'm suggesting a few pints post game to see him off.

My suggestion would be to find a pub showing Chelsea v Everton ... Beaver/Standard???

Who is up for it?? I'm assuming Mike will be up for a pint or two ... but i guess he might have better things to do.

Well i'm gonna watch it anyway...anybody???...anybody???

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Monday fun

My Sunday league 11-a-side training has moved from Thursdays to Wednesdays, obviously this clashes with the mighty Notvery, this means I am only playing football once a week which, quite simply, isn't enough. To solve this I suggest a 5.30 after work training session/kickabout down at Molescroft starting next Monday. I will be down there with a football next monday, if enough people show up then excellent, if not then I have at least tried! Please attend if you can and invite any friends or family, male or female, who may wish to join in (Luke's friend army would be most welcome). It's good, wholesome, free fun! If we get enough people I will consider re-hiring Longcroft once as week as we did last year. Any suggestions for a different, day, time or venue will be considered, I can do virtually any,
Cheers,
Will

Update:

Signed up so far:

Definite:
Will C
John C
Tom W
Chris G (May be slightly late)
Alex H
Adam T (unavailable first week)
Colin H
Hannah S
Chris H
Tom M (unavailable first week)
Neil T

Probably:
Paul B
Andy Coupe
Luke H (+2)

Possibly:
Karl T
Ian R
Hannah F
Alan W
J.K.
Gianfranco Zola

Cannay do it cap'n:
Mike H



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Just to rub it in, here's the table

Results:

Black Sox 1 v 1 Mill Lane
Waterside Utd 1 v 0 Deportivo
Reservoir Trogs 0 v 2 Shangi
Beaver U21's 0 v 3 Weighton
Angel 1 v 3 AJ's
BarceHullona 2 v 0 Not Very Athletic

The table:

Only 1 team without a point now...



Scored/conceded:

Look at that goals conceded plummet, that's the advantage of letting in loads at the start.




Next Weeks Fixtures:
Weighton v Shangi 7pm
Deportivo v Mill Lane 7pm
Reservoir Trogs v Waterside Utd 7pm
Deportivo v Black Sox 7:30pm
Mill Lane v Not Very Athletic 7:30pm
BarceHullona v Angel 7:30pm

It's a must win match for Notvery Athletic, Mike's testimonial match and my birthday one! Shame we're probably going to lose...
Will


Web Marketplace Solutions Football Club (WMpS FC)

A goal, a goal, my cola bottles for a goal

As Luke failed to show up our carefully planned formation and substitutions were out of the window, rather unfortunate considering this was the first time we had bothered.
Even so, and as always seems to be the case, we started off strongly however this time we were clearly the better side. Chris H, in goal due to the unexplained absence of our wayward keeper, had very little to do and entertained himself with a constant barrage of suggestions for his defenders.
Even though we had plenty of shots on goal, by the end of the match every player had had at least 1 shot, we couldn't convert chances into goals and the first half finished 0 - 0 but we really had a sense that this was a game we could win. In the second half we were not so dominant and only having one substitute available was beginning to show although excellent defending by both Tom and Chris G was keeping them out with ease.
As the half wore on the opposition got a lucky break and an excellent finish put them in the lead, a lead they did not deserve. Now being behind with not long left we had to push forward and this left us open to their second goal. We continued pressuring to the end with Mike H chasing every ball, not bad for someone with a fractured leg, but were unable to get on the scoresheet. Final score 0 - 2, again we let in less goals but are let down by our finishing.
This was easily the weakest side we have faced, which partly explains our apparent ability to play 'total football' but we just couldn't get the ball into the back of the net. Much frustration for all envolved.
Man of the match goes to an excellent display from Tom, looking much more like his usual self with an honorable mention to Chris G who is looking better and better each week. (football wise that is, not in a 'I want your body' way.)
Another mention to Mike H who still chased the many lost cause balls kicked in his general direction, although he had a fractured leg. Lucky for us he didn't play golf in some slightly uncomfortable shoes the weekend before.


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Whatever

No Report, too miserable... Luke's fault.

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You are not going to believe this..

We've got a full match formation/plan jobbie.


Stick to this and we simply cannot fail...

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Teenage mutant table time

Not Very Athletic 1 v 3 Deportivo; Black Sox 0 v 1 Reservoir Trogs; Shangi 1 v 1 AJ's; Beaver 4 v 0 Angel; Waterside United 0 v 5 Weighton - (Waterside Cancellation); BarceHullona p v p Mill Lane


All it takes is 1 draw to pull us not only off the bottom of the table but up to the dizzy heights of 9th! (Subject to other results)

Our games so far have been against the 2nd, 3rd, 5th and 6th placed sides. With our 7 - nil thrashing, when we had no keeper or subs, coming from the 2nd placed team. Take those 7 goals into account and our tough run so far and I reckon we're doing ok.



This Weeks Fixtures to be played weds 15 April:
Black Sox v Mill Lane 7pm
Waterside v Deportivo 7pm
Reservoir Trogs v Shangi 7pm
Beaver v Weightom 7:30pm
Angel v AJ's 7:30pm
BarceHullona v Not Very Athletic 7:30pm


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Mike is "Watered down by society"

Another week another defeat, full report to follow

A more classy penalty this week was the difference until a dodgy five minute spell either side of half time saw us off. A chance by your author to put us two up was squandered, but Mike has promised us a goal running from within five yards of the half way line next week (and has £20 riding on it)
So next week is looking promising.

Full report to follow.

From what I can remember we were looking strong, possibly even the better side for the first 10 minutes or so, with Robs defensive abilities making a big difference. With this is mind our goal was thoroughly deserved, even though it was caused by a brief lapse of cencetration by their defender who wandered aimlessly through the penalty area.

However it was again when it came to substitutions that we went a little awry, due to both a collapse in formation and the substitute defender, me, not performing his duties to the high standard set previously.

The second half started equally badly, again with defensive lacklustre causing the second goal. As the half went on we were getting back to defend after an attack less and less, due to fatigue, and Colin was often left stranded on his own waving his arms around, looking much like big bird doing an exercise video.

3 - 1 is again an improvement, and I'm sure we still didn't play to our potential. Chris H could have made it 2 - 0 to us and two of their goals were caused by defensive lapses which can be cut out. Take this into account and we actually had a 2 - 1 victory! Better is yet to come.

Gaffer

Financial crisis looming - possible threat of administration

Hi all,
Thought I'd take advantage of our goal scoring high to ask for a little bit more cash.
Due to the no show of Dan, and therefore the no show of his £25, as well as the extra game we will be playing as a new team has entered the fray I find the club finances to be £45 short. Unfortunately this means that each regular player will need to pay an extra £5 to cover the deficit. I realise that this still leaves us £5 short but I'm willing to cover that, with any input from any 1 or 2 game players (Rob!) most welcome. Apologies for this, but these are desperate times! Please bring your extra £5 to the game on wednesday or I won't be eating for a week.
Cheers,
Will

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It's table time and 'uggins ain't gonna be happy

Note the discrepancy with our 'goals +' column.

Angel 1 v 2 Shangi
AJ's 5 v 4 Waterside Utd
Weighton 1 v 0 Black Sox
Reservoir Trogs 4 v 1 Not Very Athletic
Deportivo P v P Mill Lane
Seen Better Days 0 v 5 Beaver U 21's - No Show





Lets see if we can get these two lines crossed over by the end of the season!

Web Marketplace Solutions Football Club (WMpS FC)

News just in...

Just got this off the organisers facebook page:

Note: All teams marked 'no game' will now be versus Seen Better Days, 7:30pm on pitch 3.
So we don't get a week off, hurrah!


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Nobody expects a toe poke...

Further improvement and finally a goal!!!!!!!

A very hard fought and bruising battle (judging by the state of my legs this morning) saw Notvery finally add an entry to the 'goals for' column. Again we started strongly making the oppo wait around eight minutes to take the lead, their lanky centre forward had been looking dangerous with a couple of sighters screaming past the posts and another couple looping over the fence, finally he found a way through a resolute Notvery defence.

Another goal followed before half time and although we created a couple of half chances one wasted by myself and another from Colin, neither of which worried the keeper.

The scond half arrived and along with it came a greater threat from the Notvery attack, firstly a shot from the right narrowly missed the top corner from 25 yards (could have been the screamer that Mike claimed i didn't have in my locker!).

Then the big moment arrived, a wayward pass from your author sent Mike on a lung busting run which forced a throw deep in enemy territory, the throw resulted in a rubbish diving header just wide. The pressure was maintained and another throw saw their defender commiting the cardinal sin of stepping inside the box. Arms went up, a big shout to the ref and he pointed to the spot! Now our destiny stood in Mike's hands, still trying to leave the pitch following the afore mentioned run he was dragged back to take the kick. One cheeky toe poke later and we were back in the game.

Unfortunately we then conceded a couple more goals and were staring at our third defeat. Our last chance to add to our tally was a free kick bent round a two man wall, following a dummy run from Tom and destined for the top corner which was spectacularly saved by the opposing keeper.

Another week another defeat but plenty of positives to be drawn. A 6 pint post match debrief with the jubilant Notvery topscorer took place in The Beaver and later the Cross Keys is still taking it's toll this morning.

We may have Rob back next week for a guest appearance which could add some much needed nous at the back and we can look forward to building on our new found goal threat.


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