Thursday, 16 April 2009

A goal, a goal, my cola bottles for a goal

As Luke failed to show up our carefully planned formation and substitutions were out of the window, rather unfortunate considering this was the first time we had bothered.
Even so, and as always seems to be the case, we started off strongly however this time we were clearly the better side. Chris H, in goal due to the unexplained absence of our wayward keeper, had very little to do and entertained himself with a constant barrage of suggestions for his defenders.
Even though we had plenty of shots on goal, by the end of the match every player had had at least 1 shot, we couldn't convert chances into goals and the first half finished 0 - 0 but we really had a sense that this was a game we could win. In the second half we were not so dominant and only having one substitute available was beginning to show although excellent defending by both Tom and Chris G was keeping them out with ease.
As the half wore on the opposition got a lucky break and an excellent finish put them in the lead, a lead they did not deserve. Now being behind with not long left we had to push forward and this left us open to their second goal. We continued pressuring to the end with Mike H chasing every ball, not bad for someone with a fractured leg, but were unable to get on the scoresheet. Final score 0 - 2, again we let in less goals but are let down by our finishing.
This was easily the weakest side we have faced, which partly explains our apparent ability to play 'total football' but we just couldn't get the ball into the back of the net. Much frustration for all envolved.
Man of the match goes to an excellent display from Tom, looking much more like his usual self with an honorable mention to Chris G who is looking better and better each week. (football wise that is, not in a 'I want your body' way.)
Another mention to Mike H who still chased the many lost cause balls kicked in his general direction, although he had a fractured leg. Lucky for us he didn't play golf in some slightly uncomfortable shoes the weekend before.

Web Marketplace Solutions Football Club (WMpS FC)


  1. I thought the pain of last weeks defeat wouldnt be topped. I was wrong, this week hurt much much more. Our opposition was poor and we outplayed them in large spells, mainly thanks to some outstanding rock like defending(tom take a bow son!).

    Make sure you all bring your shooting boots next week. Ive made a little player rater;

    Chris G: 10, full of running and some good defence but needs to work on communication, passing and shooting haha ( 4points added for comedy sky ball shot)

    Bill: 6, A great on target effort which had the keeping stretching and somehow catching it with his cheatgloves. Needs to work on saving mega shots and passing.

    Chris H: 6, some weak efforts at goal but relatively on target. Good range of passing both in goal and out. Needs to work on burning up all his energy during the game and also complaining more when he thinks the defender is the last man.

    Tom: 9, If he keeps playing like this surely a call-up to the national team won't be long in coming? We need 7 Toms to drag ourselves out of this relegation quagmire but that would be boring for the rest of us.

    Paul: 6, Some good grinding up front and I seem to remember a shot that brought out an admonishment from the ref for swearing. Needs to work on; stepovers, beating a man, passing and pace.

    Colin: 6, Looked threatening on the left wing in the first half, had a couple of leftfooted shots that were close to the goal but generally weak. Needs to work on; getting his lazy arse son down to keep goal for us and left footed shooting (either that or switch to the right wing!)

    Mike H: 1, The crowd were quiet in expectation as Huggins approached the pitch. What topscoring Mike magic would be on display this time? Little did they know he was hungover and with a dodgy limb. They were disappointed and so was I with a £10 reduction in my bank balance.

  2. I'm as good as Harley,
    I'm as good as Harley,
    na ,na ,na ,na
    na ,na ,na ,na

  3. Excellent work Mike, all seems reasonably accurate from what I can remember, unlike our shooting. I make that an average team score of 6.29. Makes me wonder what our previous ones would have been.

  4. I think youll find, that sky ball shot wasnt a shot on goal.. that happened in the 1st half.. at the other end! Still too wide though..

    The sky ball shot was a pass Chris that was supposed to go over the lanky fucker stood next to me.. just went a bit too high.. and well.. in the wrong direction

  5. Around 47 tonnes of topspin and it would have been the perfect pass, except for burrowing itself into the ground when it landed.

  6. Has that £10 reduction in your bank balance gone straight into my account, cos i don't remember receiving it.

    And Bill i think you'll find mine was rounded down (cos of my clean sheet first half) and yours rounded up. And i can't help but think your air shot has gone missing in these reports.

  7. That was a deliberate air shot to give you something to do between the sticks. I notice no mention of your free kick/pass back to their keeper.

  8. I can't believe Bill didn't get anything deducted for tripping me up in the first half!

  9. I'm sure it must have been for your own good.

  10. Statisticalstatician16 April 2009 at 17:50

    I can see the player rater has led to nothing but divisions and finger pointing amongst us so instead of that I`ll simply give us an overall team rating made up from the individual results in the following categories;

    Teamwork 2
    Infighting -8
    Social side 4
    Attack ability 3
    Defensive ability 6
    Fitness 3
    Pace 1
    Goalkeeping attendance 4
    Penalty taking 10
    Heading 6
    Will to win 3
    Pride in the shirt 2

    Overall team rating:3/10

    Room for improvement methinks.

  11. oh yeah and i've eaten the cola bottles